Don’t like your body? Your relationship? Your job?
So often we sit around, thinking about how unhappy we are about one thing or another. Here’s a secret: the only person capable of changing your life for the better is you. You are the only person who can go to the gym, talk to your partner or open your own business. So why don’t you?
FEAR OF FAILURE
It starts with self-doubt. “Maybe I shouldn’t really do this,” we think. “Maybe it’s not a good idea.” We ask ourselves over and over again if we really should bother lifting weights or eating better. It’s not going to work anyway, is it? You’ve tried it before and it didn’t work then. And everyone has a job they don’t like. Failing would be terrible, so you don’t even try.
The key to following through when you’re committed to change is to fight off your fear of failure. Of course you’re afraid; any sort of change can be frightening. But if you fail to even try, then you’ll be exactly where you’ve always been. You might not fail, but you also won’t grow. You won’t learn.
REACH FOR SUCCESS
We’ve established that if you get in your head, you’re dead. The brain is a great tool to strategize with, but there’s a point where you have to use your heart, put yourself on the line and do something.
So don’t think too much. Instead, commit to a decision, act on it and move yourself forward.
A lot of people tend to make “sorta kinda” decisions: “I’ll do this… someday.” Here’s the secret behind why people don’t follow through: The reason people don’t commit to a decision is that they don’t act on it.
You may have thought that it’s the other way around – that you have to commit to a decision before you act on it. But the only way to prove to yourself that you’re completely committed to change and are going to follow through is if you push yourself to take the first step, which is the hardest step to take.
“Daily action ignites the momentum that creates lasting change”
FIND A MENTOR
You don’t have to do this alone. Committing to change is easier when you face it with someone who’s been there.
Find someone who has achieved the results that you want – they lost 30 pounds, or they have their dream career or they’re just truly happy with their life. Finding someone who inspires you in this way is called modeling, and it’s a great way to determine the steps you need to take to reach your goal.
People don’t achieve repeated success because they’re lucky. They achieve repeated success because they’ve found something that works – a formula, a strategy or a tactic – and they’ve repeated it, adjusting as necessary.
What’s one small decision you could make right now that would take you in the direction you need to go? What’s a big decision that might be really tough, but if you made it, it would take you in a new direction in your life? Write these things down, and start making plans to see them through. They may not happen instantly – they will probably take time and effort – but writing something down is a powerful way to tell yourself you’re going to make something happen. They aren’t just words in your mind anymore. They’re words on paper, a list you can look at again and again.
If you don’t act, your dreams will die in your mind. When you make a decision, commit yourself to it by taking the first step toward it right then and there. Otherwise, you’ll go home, get caught up in the 87 other things you need to do and you won’t make any headway. Take some form of action that will move you in the direction you want to go. Sign up for the membership at the gym. Start thinking about what you want your career to look like. Maybe you need to take a class or read a book to start learning new tactics to improve at your job. The smallest of changes can lead to big results if you follow through with them.
When you’re committed to change, life starts to look different. You stop fearing what might happen and instead embrace it. So what if you fail? At least you learned something – that means you’ve grown. By shifting the way you approach things and realizing that only you can make a difference in your own life, you’ll change the way you think about yourself and the story you’re living.
Trying to figure out how to be successful in life? Although success looks different for everyone, there is one simple equation you can use to achieve the results you’re ultimately after. The ultimate formula for success consists of five steps: know your desired outcome, know your motivation, take massive action, notice your results and change your approach. Here, we’ll dive deeper into how to become successful, so you can take these steps and apply them to your own life.
HOW TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL
1. DEFINE SUCCESS
Clarity is power. Knowing what success looks like to you is a critical component in achieving any kind of improvement. Are you looking to deepen your personal relationships? Maybe your goal is to advance your career. The more specific you are about what you want, the easier it will be to take the actionable steps needed to achieve it.
For instance, “I want to get a promotion” doesn’t give you a lot to build on. What role, specifically, do you want and how will obtaining that role better your life? Refine your vision to be something like, “I want to be Vice President of the company within six months, making $300,000 per year.” It’s an ambitious jump, but it gives you a clear end result and something you can track your progress against along the way.
You must know your reasons for wanting to be successful and achieve your goals. Because when you have absolute clarity of purpose, you’ll keep that goal in mind even when things get tough.
2. ADOPT THE RIGHT MINDSET
Energy follows focus.
By focusing on everything that could go wrong, you’re essentially setting up a self-fulfilling prophecy. Persistent negative thoughts about yourself, like “I don’t think I can do this” or “Someone much smarter than me is better suited,” are called limiting thoughts. Your energy will flow toward whatever is on your mind, and if you’re approaching a situation full of doubt and negativity, you’re likely to receive the outcome you feared.
Why send your energy toward things you don’t want? Instead, clarify for yourself what you do want and train your brain to notice things that can help you make it happen. When a negative thought pops up, replace it with a positive one. Try thinking, “I can do this” or “I’m going to figure this out.” Instead of dwelling on worst-case scenarios, imagine extraordinary results.
When things get challenging, reflect on what caused you to pursue this change in the first place. Were you conventionally successful but internally unhappy? Have you not utilized your skills as much as you’d like to? Whatever your reason for wanting to succeed, use these motivations as the cornerstone of your desire to work hard and achieve more.
3. TAKE ACTION
Determining what you want and adopting a good mindset is only part of learning how to be successful. Your goals and dreams won’t come to you just because you think about them; only by taking massive action can you produce massive results. This means shaking up your routines drastically, learning a new skill set and replacing bad habits with good ones.
Working toward your goals can involve long hours, lots of practice and getting outside your comfort zone. And remember, failure is often part of the process. If you take massive action and experience failure along the way, keep going. Some of the greatest leaders of our time failed terribly before ultimately succeeding.
4. STUDY THE PATHS OF OTHERS
No matter what field you’re in or what you’re trying to do with your life, someone else has done it before. You can study their strategies and modify them for your own purposes. Tony Robbins calls this “modeling,” because you’re modeling your efforts on theirs.
Successfully practicing modeling requires you to pick the right person and learn everything you can about them. What challenges did they face, and how did they overcome them? Do you see similarities between their roadblocks and your own? As you dig into their life and understand their setbacks, you can build a strategy for yourself.
5. TRACK YOUR PROGRESS
When you find yourself repeatedly saying “I want to be successful” and working toward your goal, don’t forget to stop to check your progress along the way. Noticing your results is critical to unlocking how to become successful, because you must accurately assess your progress. Are the things you’re doing leading you closer to your goal? Have you hit a plateau as far as progress is concerned? Objectively look at the things you’re doing in your everyday life, and decide whether or not they’re helping you to become the type of person you want to be.
6. BE FLEXIBLE
No great success was achieved without any effort, or in only one try. Thomas Edison said: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” The ability to shift gears and try new things is an important key to success. Tony feels the same way: “I have plenty of failures, but I don’t look at them that way, not because I am in denial but because I make myself learn something from it. Then it becomes a stepping stone instead of a failure.”
If one attempt doesn’t work, change your strategy and try again. A willingness to look at things from a different perspective will take you far.
Above all, if you need help, ask for it. Society glorifies those who get everything done on their own, but the reality is learning to be successful doesn’t happen in a vacuum. You will find people – friends, family and colleagues – who want to offer their assistance. They may see a challenge from a different angle, or notice a pattern that you don’t. You might also look into working with a coach who has helped others become successful. They’ve seen exactly what you’re going through and will be able to help you work through whatever challenges you’re facing.
As you continue exploring how to be successful and what success means to you personally, never be afraid to start over and switch up what you’re doing. The path to personal growth is long and ever-changing. Although you can trust that success doesn’t mean the same thing for any two people, you can rest easily knowing no one finds it without effort and action.
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Mark Twain said: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition, it is important with whom you regularly associate.”
“He who robs you of your dreams, robs you of your life” —Virginia Woolf
The most important thing after dreaming big is actually the people you tell it to. Joseph in the Bible had a big dream, but he shared it with shallow-minded people and it almost cost him his life. The Bible says in Genesis 37:5: “And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it his brethren: and they hated him yet the more.” Telling your dreams to the wrong people can cost you the life of the dream and sometimes your own life. If not for God’s intervention, Joseph almost lost his life.
The moment you tell your dream to small-minded people, they would discourage you, belittle it, steal the idea or become your competitor. Your dream is not to be shared with everybody, especially with small-minded people, who would make you see several reasons why the dream cannot work, but blinded to the reasons why it would work.
John C. Maxwell said: “The bigger the dream, the bigger the person you must become to achieve it.” Small-minded people would make you settle for something lesser than your dream. A small-minded person is unable to conceive a big future; he or she would always strangulate a big dream. Never share your dreams with people who are incapable of seeing the big picture.
Elon Musk would have settled down in a research laboratory for space research, but instead launched a company that competes even with NASA in projections. Richard Branson would have been a travelling agent, but decided to launch the Virgin Group. The Amazon boss, Jeff Bezos, would have been a general manager in a book-selling shop, but instead launched the biggest online sale space ever.
Bill Gates had a dream where every home would have a personal computer, and today, some homes even have more than one. Steve Job’s big dream was to put the whole computer in a phone and today, our phone cannot only do what a personal computer can do, but even much more.
The secret of these great people was that they disciplined themselves to be far from small-minded people. The story of Henry Ford and how he shared his idea of a gasoline motor with his boss and mentor, Thomas Edison, is a very fascinating example of nexus between great minds. It is not all bosses that would support your big ideas, so be mindful who you share your ideas with.
In 1896, Edison, the great inventor who invented the electric bulb, was working on an idea to design a car when he heard that a young man who worked in his company had created an experimental car. Edison met the young man at his company’s party in New York and interviewed him about the car. He was impressed.
With these words of encouragement from the most highly respected inventor in the United States (US) at that time, Ford continued his work, invented a car and became wealthy.
He had the same idea as the young man, but he was considering electricity as the power source, while the young man used gasoline engine to power the car. He slammed his fist down and shouted, “young man, that’s the thing! You have it! I think you are on to something! I encourage you to continue your pursuits!”
On December 9, 1914, Edison’s laboratory and factory got burnt. He was 67-year-old and the damage was too extensive for insurance cover. Before the ashes were cold, Ford handed Edison a cheque of $750,000, with a note saying that Edison can have more if he needed it.
In 1916, Ford relocated his home to the building next to Edison’s home and when Edison couldn’t walk and was confined to a wheelchair by his doctors, Ford also bought a wheelchair in his house, so that he could run wheelchair race with his friend and mentor.
Edison made Ford believed in himself and got a friend for life. Don’t ever be jealous of other people’s success and dreams. When you support the dreams of others, you would win a permanent fan for life.
If you ever want to achieve great dreams, then you must stay away from the following categories of people: Crab-Minded People
Crab mentality, also known as crabs in a bucket mentality, is a way of thinking best described by the phrase, “if I can’t have it, neither can you.” The crab mentality is a metaphor for how humans respond when they see someone else around them achieving some kind of self-improvement that they cannot achieve themselves.
The metaphor is derived from a pattern of behaviour noted in crabs when they are trapped in a bucket. While any one crab could easily escape, its efforts would be undermined and sabotaged by others.
The analogy in human behaviour is claimed to be that members of a group would attempt to reduce the self-confidence of any member who achieves success beyond the others, out of envy, resentment, spite, conspiracy or competitive feelings, to halt their progress. Mediocre Minds
People in this category are content at being average. In his best-selling book, The Enemy Called Average, John Mason unveiled the greatest enemy to dreams, visions and personal development. He believed your greatest enemy is someone that helps you settle for less than what God designed you for.
You must grow your mind to a level where you are not comfortable with being surrounded by average-minded people. Maureen Dowd said: “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” Insecure Minds
Small-minded people would become insecure with your big dreams. Insecure people would compete with you, instead of complementing you. Chronic insecure people are toxic to your dreams. An insecure person would always ruin other people’s happiness, just because he/her cannot find his/her own.
You need people with a healthy self-esteem to invest in your dreams. A healthy self-esteem is the greatest asset of any person. This ensures that we see everybody as a collaborator and not a competitor. Low-Aim Minds
Michelangelo said: “The greatest tragedy of life is not that we set high aim and miss it, but that we set low aim and reach it.” Don’t allow small-minded people to pull your big dreams down to fit into their own realities.
Small-minded people would reduce you to their small thinking. Raise your aim high and the right people would come to you. Envious Minds
Every time you succeed, there are some people that die a little. Envy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius. Aristotle said: “Envy is pain at the good fortune of others.” When men are full of envy, they disparage everything, whether it is good or bad.
Napoleon Bonaparte said: “Envy is a declaration of inferiority.” Don’t bring envious people into your ‘master-mind’ circle; they would bankrupt your dream. Walt Disney said: “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.”
Dream big, but also take small steps towards the achievement of your dreams; you are never too young to dream. Dare to dream big. Take a leap of faith and unleash your potentials. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality; rather upgrade your conviction to match your destiny. The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
Don’t ever give up on your dreams and when someone tells you, “It cannot be done,” it doesn’t mean you cannot do it; it simply means you cannot do it with them. Don’t ever let somebody tell you, “You cannot do something.” You have a dream you have to protect and the right to live your dream is in your hands.
Albert Einstein said: “I am thankful for all of those who said NO (it cannot be done) to me. It’s because of them I’m doing it myself.”
Friday is not just another day of the week. It is actually the most expected and beloved day since it marks the beginning of the weekend. On Fridays, the work week is almost over while two days of freedom and fun over the weekend await us. There is a sense of anticipation and thrill that friday brings.
Online marketing is the practice of leveraging web-based channels to spread a message about a company’s brand, products, or services to its potential customers. The methods and techniques used for online marketing include email, social media, display advertising, search engine optimization, Google AdWords and more. The objective of marketing is to reach potential customers through the channels where they spend their time reading, searching, shopping, and socializing online.
Widespread adoption of the internet for business and personal use has generated new channels for advertising and marketing engagement, including those mentioned above. There are also many benefits and challenges inherent to online marketing, which uses primarily digital mediums to attract, engage, and convert virtual visitors to customers.
Online marketing differs from traditional marketing, which has historically included mediums like print, billboard, television and radio advertisements.
Before online marketing channels emerged, the cost to market products or services was often prohibitively expensive, and traditionally difficult to measure. Think of national TV ad campaigns, which are measured through consumer focus groups to determine levels of brand awareness. These methods are traditionally lso not well-suited to controlled experimentation. Today, anyone with an online business (as well as most offline businesses) can participate in online marketing by creating a website and building customer acquisition campaigns at little to no cost. Those marketing products and services also have the ability to experiment with optimization to fine-tune their campaigns’ efficiency and ROI.
A key benefit of using online channels for marketing a business or product is the ability to measure the impact of any given channel, as well as how visitors acquired through different channels interact with a website or landing page experience. Of the visitors that convert into paying customers, further analysis can be done to determine which channels are most effective at acquiring valuable customers.
Analytics for web or mobile app experiences can help determine the following:
Which online marketing channels are the most cost-effective at acquiring customers, based on the conversion value of visitors to customers, and the cost of those visitors.
Which channels are effective at acquiring and driving higher lifetime value for customers — such as email marketing, which drives repeat purchases to prior customers.
Which cohorts of customers exhibit strong engagement behavior and high potential for upsells — such as software or mobile apps, which expect to sell more products to customers with high engagement.
Online Marketing Tools
There are a number of tools that can be used to build and maintain a robust online marketing program:
Some examples of online marketing campaigns include:
Canon advertises for search keywords related to “photography” on Google, Yahoo, and Bing search engines to market their cameras to a relevant audience to drive traffic to a specific webpage.
Whole Foods collects email addresses on their website to create email lists that can be used to advertise new products, sales, and events in their stores.
Dove creates video advertisements and shares them with their audience on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media platforms to promote favorable conversation about their brand and products.
Bite Beauty partners with influencers to promote a new lipstick to their target audience of high-quality, beauty enthusiasts.
Although online marketing creates many opportunities for businesses to grow their presence via the internet and build their audiences, there are also inherent challenges with these methods of marketing. First, the marketing can become impersonal, due to the virtual nature of message and content delivery to a desired audience. Marketers must inform their strategy for online marketing with a strong understanding of their customer’s needs and preferences. Techniques like surveys, user testing, and in-person conversations can be used to understand the overall user experience.
Online marketing can also be crowded and competitive. Although the opportunities to provide goods and services in both local and far-reaching markets is empowering, the competition can be significant. Companies investing in online marketing may find visitors’ attention is difficult to capture due to the number of business also marketing their products and services online. Marketers must develop a balance of building a unique value proposition (UVP) and brand voice as they test and build marketing campaigns on various channels.
The first step to getting started with online marketing is to evaluate your goals and make sure they are measurable. Are you hoping to sign up 100 new customers? Generate 1,000 leads to fuel your B2B sales process? Build an email subscriber base of 10,000 people?
After that, you need to make a choice about how to construct an online presence that helps you achieve that goal and create corresponding a marketing strategy for these channels. Maybe you need to set up an e-commerce site. If you’re interested in blogging to drive awareness and subscribers, look into setting up a blog and strategize on how to create great content that would encourage sharing on social media channels. Partnering with a customer that is willing to evangelize your business by creating a case study or infographic can be powerful social pro as customers are evaluating your company. A simple website or landing page with a lead capture form can help you start developing your brand and generating traffic. A basic analytic platform (like Google Analytics, which is free) can help you start to measure how you are tracking your marketing efforts towards your initial goal.
Online marketing is also known as internet marketing, web marketing, digital marketing and search engine marketing (SEM). Online advertising and internet advertising are techniques involved with online marketing, but are not synonymous with online marketing.
“Wake up early, follow your to do list, don’t give into temptation.”
Every night, you repeat it to yourself, fully motivated to succeed tomorrow.
But every morning, you wake up with a feeling of dread. You have your list… but actually sticking to it? You’ve had your ups and downs.
It’s always the same story:
There’s you, the thing you need to do, and the Distraction. Maybe it’s your phone, or a newly released game, or your latest Netflix obsession. Whatever it is, you know it’s the gateway to hours of wasted time.
You know you need to resist. But most of the time, you just can’t help yourself.
You’ve tried everything: Productivity apps, systems, planners, bullet journals. But you know it’s not about the system you use. It’s about having the discipline to stick to the tasks you write down.
The only problem is, you haven’t been successful at building up that discipline. And you don’t know how to start.
You feel like you’ll always be followed by the guilt and anxiety of not working on something important.
What on earth can you begin doing to get yourself to work and do the things you need to?
Why you’re not getting better at ignoring distractions
It’s not your fault.
You’ve been working with the wrong advice:
“Keep trying, and over time you’ll get better.”
“Power through. Build that discipline muscle.”
But it’s not getting easier, is it?
And how, exactly, are you supposed to resist? What, precisely, should you be thinking, or telling yourself, or changing about your environment?
It’s great to have a goal, but it’s also useful to know what steps to take to get there. And that’s where conventional wisdom leaves you hanging.
Motivation and effort only get you so far without a solid strategy, and this is true across domains:
Elite athletes spend significant time not just on physical training, but also on analyzing and tweaking their technique.
Artists don’t paint aimlessly for hours: they explore new methods to find the best way of capturing their subject.
Successful CEOs don’t only put in the time on a daily basis; they spend years learning better strategies for project management, market analysis, leadership, etc.
Without a strategy, it’s no surprise you keep failing at building your discipline. And when you fail, it’s natural to feel discouraged.
The good news is you can improve.
You are persistent and motivated. But your approach has been failing you.
Why the “resist temptation” advice is harmful
By far the most common piece of advice you’ll hear for building self-discipline is also one of the most harmful, because it masquerades as something that will really help you. Resisting temptation might sound like a sensible thing to do, but it actually sets you up for failure from the get-go.
1. It only works if you’re already good at it
Trying to resist temptation through willpower alone is a practice that only benefits you if you succeed. Let’s look at how this scenario can play out:
A distraction interrupts your work.
You try to resist.
You succeed. Fantastic! You get to keep being productive, feel good about yourself, and reinforce the behavior of getting back to work in response to a distraction.
But how often does this happen?
More likely, it goes something like this:
A distraction interrupts your work.
You try to resist.
You give in. You feel like a failure, your work is interrupted, and your brain doesn’t get any practice in what it’s like to move from distraction back to work. Sadness all around.
If you’re not already good at ignoring distractions, the “resist temptation” strategy will not help you improve. In fact, if you continually fail, it will only hurt you. Your brain remembers the things it does over and over. And every time you fail at resisting temptation, you give you brain one more round of practice in stopping your work after getting distracted.
2. It makes it extra difficult to keep working at crucial moments
What were you doing the last time you got distracted?
Was it when your work was going well and you were making progress?
More likely, it was during a difficult patch. We tend to start getting distracted when we’re facing a challenge and feeling stuck — i.e. the time when it’s most crucial to keep pressing on.
And the more difficult the challenge, the more tempted you will be to take a break when presented with the opportunity, making it even more difficult to resist by just muscling through. This means you will fail most often at the most crucial stages of your work.
So not only are you again reinforcing the part where you stop your work after facing a distraction, you are also making it harder for your brain to learn to persevere when you’re at a make-or-break point in your work.
3. It hurts you even when you feel like you’ve earned the break
Has there ever been a time when you gave into distraction guilt-free?
It was probably after you’d put in a lot of good work and felt like you deserved a break. After all, you shouldn’t deny yourself necessary rest.
What you may not realize is that even when you give into distraction intentionally, you’re still reinforcing the pattern of stopping your work in response to being distracted.
There is nothing wrong with taking a break when you need it. But doing it in response to a distraction means this pattern will come back with every distraction you face, making it harder for you to keep working when you don’t intend on taking a rest.
So what can you do? Is there a smarter way to build that bridge from distraction back to work?
And what do you do when you genuinely need a break and have no strength left to resist temptation?
Turn distractions into mini discipline boot camps
When a temptation comes up, never tell yourself “no”. Instead, say “I will do this in 5 minutes.”
This “in 5 minutes” principle shrinks the ask for your discipline muscle. Instead of resisting your temptation altogether, you only have to put it off by 5 minutes. Sounds much more doable, doesn’t it?
The main advantage of this trick, and why it works so well, is that it gives you a path of much less resistance for getting back to work.
But it has other benefits, too:
By going back to work first, you give yourself a chance to get re-immersed in your task and forget about the distraction, increasing the number of times you successfully continue your work.
Every temptation becomes an opportunity to teach your brain to ignore it and keep working. Remember, your brain remembers what it repeats. Even if you ultimately end up following through on your distraction 5 minutes later, you’ve already gotten in an extra round of practice in self-discipline.
And what should you do if you genuinely need a break?
Decide that you will take it “in 5 minutes”. When 5 minutes is up, set your work aside and take your well-earned rest, guilt-free.
By turning all your rest period into planned breaks, you give your brain an alternative path to stop working, which avoids reinforcing the association between getting distracted and stopping your work. And by going back to work for 5 minutes first, you take yet another opportunity to practice returning to work after a distraction.
Make every failure a success
By following the “in 5 minutes” principle, you can use every distraction as an opportunity to train your discipline muscle, even if you eventually end up giving in to the temptation.
By increasing the number of times you successfully go back to work, you will feel more accomplished, and avoid feeling guilty when you do take a break.
In fact, you get to feel good about yourself the very next time you get distracted. No need to wait until you actually get better at resisting temptation: even if you give in, you’ll still have had a successful training session.
As you build your discipline muscle, ignoring distractions will become easier, going back to work will feel automatic, and finishing the tasks you set for yourself will become a daily habit. All with less effort than if you kept trying to “power through”.
Before you know it, you’ll become that person that you used to look at and wonder how they manage to accomplish all their goals.
Work smarter, not harder, on building self-discipline
Getting down to work and ignoring distractions is tough. And when you fail at it, it can overwhelm you with guilt, anxiety, and regret over having wasted your time.
Getting better at self-control is not straightforward, and if you haven’t succeeded yet, it could be because you’ve been sticking to inefficient strategies, like the muscle-through approach.
Fortunately, there is a smarter way to build self-discipline, which turns each potential distraction into an opportunity to practice, and helps you feel accomplished from day one.
The next time you’re facing temptation, use the steps above to redirect your brain back to work, and turn an disruptive distraction into a planned break.
The very first time you use the “in 5 minutes” principle, you’ll feel a jolt of satisfaction when you realize that you’ve just successfully ignored a distraction… and that it’s going to be the first in a string of many successes.
Imagine what you can accomplish when you are fueled by the motivation that comes from consistently succeeding at reaching your goals. Imagine never again feeling regret after an unproductive day.
So take the first step by working smarter on your discipline. And get ready to run, not walk
Values are the beliefs that govern our lives. They can be applied to organizations, cultures, groups of people or individuals. When it comes to personal values definitions, it’s variable: how one’s values are defined is based on the feelings and sentiments one holds about themselves and the world around them. Personal values can be positive and lead to self-esteem and fulfillment, or they can be based on limiting beliefs and cause problems in relationships and one’s overall interactions with the world at large.
These feelings become so deeply ingrained in us that we forget they only apply to our lives and not the world in general. Many times, your beliefs and values were adopted by you as you grew up. Ever hear the phrase “you are who your friends are”? We pick up little pieces from other people and our family, friends and significant others – the characteristics that we like. Then, we discard the characteristics that we don’t like. The end result is our existing personal values and beliefs. Both of these help you to determine whether something is “good” or “bad.”
TYPES OF PERSONAL VALUES
There are many different types of personal values, but most can be grouped into those based on morals, aesthetics or family.
Moral values help us determine what is right or wrong and are based on laws, religious beliefs or politics. Continents/states/cities tend to develop broad moral values, which are then passed down to those who live in the society who then adopt them as personal values.
Aesthetic values help us make judgments on beauty, artistic talent or music. Aesthetic values are more individualized but can be heavily influenced on how we were raised, who we spend time with and the aesthetic values of our culture.
Family values are shared by small groups of people and relate to how time should be spent together, how those within the family unit are treated and the structure of the family. While these can vary from family to family, they are also influenced by society and upbringing.
PERSONAL VALUES EXAMPLES
Learning: If you are constantly finding ways tofeed your mind with new information and enjoy talking to others so you can discover more about them, learning is likely one of your important personal values.
Individuality: Do you “march to the beat of your own drummer” and reject the status quo? If you define yourself strictly by your own standards and consistently disregard what others believe is the “right way” to live your life, you value individuality.
Independence: The concept of freedom, including physical, emotional orfinancial freedom, is highly important to you. You live a life where the only limit is yourself and you pull from your strength and perseverance to make things happen.
Generosity: If one of your personal values is generosity, you embody the belief that thesecret to living is giving and you likely spend much of your time volunteering, donating or finding other ways togive back.
As we turn to our personal values as a source of guidance throughout our lives, they begin to make a lasting impact. Our rules shape us – they make us who we are – and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s when our rules become unreasonable and make our relationships more difficult that we need to re-evaluate and re-shape our beliefs and our values so they create more harmony, not conflict.
We all have a set of personal values that dictate how we interact with andjudge the other people. Our values also dictate how we view ourselves and how we see the world. We have pet peeves and our perceived concept of how things “should” be.
Think about it: When you say or hear things like, “If you loved me, you wouldn’t do X-Y-Z,” that is a rule or value that we expect the people around us to follow. Ever get upset because someone didn’t do something they said they would do? That is also a value you’re trying to adhere to, which is a valid point as to whyexpectations are so dangerous.
But rules were made to be broken – and that’s exactly what we do. We get upset with each other all of the time because someone did something to violate one of our personal values. In unhealthy relationships, each person uses the other as a constant sounding board for some rule the other one has violated, resulting in punishment that further harms the partner. And while sometimes our rules are indeed valid, other times they are just plain silly. We often impose our personal values on our partner without telling them about our expectations or needs, which only results in disappointment and frustration.
The real question is: Where do these rules come from? Did you just make them up as you went along? The answer is that they stem from your beliefs and from yourvalues.
How do your personal values help or hinder you? Are these beliefs having a positive impact on your success and relationships, or are they holding you back? By taking an objective look at your beliefs, and deciding how you can alter them to better suit your goals, you can ultimately find more fulfillment.